When your only companionship, for most of your waking hours, is a nigh-threenager, you find yourself taking every opportunity to separate yourself from the chaos and get some kind of mental relaxation. Today, I joined KidK in the backyard and, while he ran around with various diggers and his lawnmower, I built a tiny wall. It lasted just long enough for him to notice and use his wrecking ball to knock it over (at least I gave him permission first).
I realized how lonely I am. I see my Village back in Baltimore doing things together, their kids involved in joint activities and building new skills, and I feel like we're in limbo here. But without the added support of a village, I lack the mental energy to really involve my child as much as I want to.
This makes me feel like an utter failure. My child does not paint or do crafts or join in circle-time at the library (believe me, I've tried). He will play out the same 4 second clip of his favorite stories over and over. It's great that he's so into imaginative play, but I wish he'd be more willing to expand on the storylines a bit.
This post has no purpose. Just tossing leaves into the void.